It is amazing how when we put specific things out into the universe we attract them into our lives. One of the areas I am working on this month as I Mindfully Live More in the Moment is clearing up some of my friendships. Truth be told I am not very good at maintaining my friendships. Most of my friends I see a few times a year and we immediately reconnect until our next get together.
Today one of my friends joined me for coffee this morning. It was so great to reconnect and catch up. The conversations we have are different than the conversations I have with others. And my focused attention on listening more fully really had a pleasant impact on me. As I listened more to understand I found myself digging for more insights. I also discovered more things about myself and how at times I cop out of thoughtful responses.
As we talked about the cultural differences between our countries, I said something like “I guess that is the US culture”. I could not even believe I said that as it was tumbling past my lips. I am not typically one to cop out of personal responsibility and choice, but in this case I am so glad I did. My friend gently caught that and kindly reminded me that we have complete control over our culture. What we accept as acceptable is within our control. When we choose to reject common behaviors we transform the culture we live within, regardless of what our neighbors may do.
It was such a pleasure to spent time with someone who so thoughtfully engages in conversation. At a time in my life when I really want to Mindfully Live in the Moment, it was a blessing to reconnect with a friend who seems to do that.
Today’s Simple Mindfulness Igniter is to reconnect with someone who seems to live in the moment, or at least one who will slow down enough to mindfully connect with you. Over the next week or so meet up with someone who you can have a heartfelt conversation with, who brings positive energy and love into your life, someone who does not compete with you, but connects with you. Reconnect with a real friend.
For those taking the Mindfully Living in the Moment New Habit Challenge, consider connecting with someone who embodies or performs your new habit on a regular basis. Connect with someone you would consider to be a role model in this area of your life.
Today’s New Habit Challenge Tip is…
Associate with Role Models. There probably are people who have the new habit you are trying to create. Find these people and learn from them. Observe their actions and behaviors. Your habit is a goal achievement strategy, if you find someone who has achieved your goal or one similar, observe them and talk to them about their habits. Which of their habits support them and which would you like to consider for yourself?
It is always great to have a mentor or role model who can give you advice, but don’t forget to learn from what they forget to tell you too. People often forget that their habits are unique to them. Remember we are attempting to move our new habits from a place on conscious directions to a place of auto-piloted behaviors, or better yet auto-piloted responses to anchors or triggers in our environment. To someone who has already done this, they may not realize all these small habits have led to their success.
People who are already on auto-pilot often do not realize all that success factors working for them already. They may assume “that is just what people do, don’t they?” No, often that is not “just what people do.” Often we have picked up our own set of behaviors and patterns from others we have been around, we may or may not recognize those behaviors as precursors to success or failure. We may not even realize that we cop out of thoughtful responses until we engage a mindful friend in conversation and observe their behaviors. We also may not realize the important of mindful conversations and how we prefer them until we are trying to connect with someone who is the master of small talk or has a very competitive spirit.
Give this tip some thought, find your role models, and observe their habits. Stick with your new habit for this month; do not change even if you see something that might be better. Although you should modify your new habit if you see it is off target. You always have next month if you want to select a different habit.