In most circumstances change will take place with or without our consent and blessing. However, when we resist, fight, ignore and deny change we fail to seize the opportunity that resides in the changes of life. When we delay or possibly fail to grow and receive the blessing change presents we potentially lose at change.
As I go through the change of my daughter leaving home for 5 months I know there are opportunities for me to be ME again. I have time to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it. Of course I have some obligations, but I can use this time to explore more freely new and old areas of my life.
So why do I find some days that I just want to lay low and do nothing?
There is a letting go of the past and the comfortable that needs to happen and although I know this new path is exciting I miss my daughter. It is ok to miss her I just need to acknowledge when my missing is stopping me and preventing me from using this time and seizing the opportunities within this change.
I need to know when my missing her is negatively impacting how I am playing my Game of Change. When am I out of bounds and need to get back onto the field and play?
Three Signs I am NOT Playing My Game of Change to Win:
Bad Behaviors. I can be a work-a-holic! I like to be productive with my time and before I had my daughter and even in her younger years I worked a lot…days, nights and weekends. I have learned to set boundaries and I now know a variety of activities, including rest, enable me to be more productive when I am in the office. What are your bad behaviors? Where are you hiding because it is comfortable instead of getting out and winning at this Game of Change?
Bad Habits. I am an endurance walker…send me on a three hour walk and I am happy! However, I have not been walking in two weeks. I have traded my walk time for sleep and tv…yikes! It is time to train for another event and put on those walking shoes. What are the good habits you had prior to your life change which have fallen to the wayside? Or what bad habits do you see creeping into your life. Take swift immediate action today to stop the bad habit and bring back in the good or establish a new good habit.
Negative Emotions. My daughter went to a military based high school that really is set up for troubled teens; their freedoms are stripped away as they focus on academics, physical fitness, and community involvement. My daughter with the pretty hair, perfect eyebrows, and loads of self-discipline volunteered for this program. Some said to me, “WOW! She must really want out of the house.” When someone made a similar comment to my daughter she was appalled and concerned, she reassured me “getting away from mom” had nothing to do with why she was volunteering for this program. Yet, that critic who occasionally pops into my head triggers that comment and negative emotions surface. At times like these, I need to counter attack with the assurance she gave me that this is false and her letters that tell me she loves and misses me, but is committed to this program. Does that evil critic in your head pop up with false information that triggers negative emotions for you? How do you counterattack?
Today take a look at the behaviors, habits and emotions that keep you from gleaning the opportunities from this change and brainstorm some counterattack behaviors, habits and emotions. DO NOT beat yourself us or allowing any of these negatives in, use these as awareness builders so you can become more aware of the patterns that keep you out of the game. Consider these negatives as the boundary lines on your playing field. When these negatives behaviors, habits and emotions creep in you are simply out of bounds, you blow the whistle on yourself, and bring yourself back onto the game field. Tomorrow we will explore ways to get back onto the playing field together.
Over the next few weeks I will blog about my journey through the change of my daughter leaving home for a few months. My intention is to really pay attention to what I am going through and learn from it. Then put this into a 30 Day Plan for others to use as a Framework for their New Change. Your insights on navigating change, your words of advice and wisdom, and your current or past experiences are welcome here. Please share and help me make this a space of learning and exploration.
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