Change has to do with circumstances. Transition is the internal shift that we make in response to the specific change. We transitionas we let go of how things used to be and adjust ourselves to the way things are now.
The first phase of transition is the LET GO phase where we let go of the way thing used to be and find new ways to have our needs met or create new perspectives on the shift that is happening. For example, with my daughter leaving home my home shift from a place where I raise my family to a personal retreat.
LET BE can be characterized as that in-between time, when the old is gone but the new hasn’t become fully operational. It’s a state of limbo, where it feels there is nothing to hold onto. The old ways don’t work anymore, yet the new ways don’t feel right, either. We shed an established and typically comfortable identity so we can take on a new one. We learn new skills, knowledge, and approaches to life that will better serve us as we move forward.
Often there is a tendency to want to move backwards to the known comfort zone or to rush through this discomfort, but to do so is to miss the opportunity and blessings of change. It is here is this in-between state where the questioning, growth, learning, formation, courage, creativity, and risk taking happen.
The neutral zone is where I am now with the transition of my daughter. She and I have established new ways of staying in touch with each other. I am creating new processes at home and about my day that work for me and the pets. There are a few areas of my life that I am still adjusting to, but I am finding the new way of being ME.
Help Yourself to LET BE
- Shift Your Perspective by reminding yourself that this is a time of reorienting and redefining yourself, not a time of meaningless waiting (even if it doesn’t feel like it right now).
- Adjust Your Expectations and accept that this will be a less productive time for you. This transition will bear greater results later.
- Limit Additional Changes in your life, work, and environment unless they aid in this transition.
- Allow the Uncomfortable Emotions such as fear, confusion, or loneliness and use these as indicators of needs that need to be filled in new ways.
- Take Some Quiet Time on a regular basis to reflect on what you are learning and how you are developing in this process.
- Get Creative as you seek solutions and explore your new path; take time to question, experiment, brainstorm, and try new things out.
- Set Short-Term, Achievable Goals to give yourself a sense of accomplishment and forward movement
- Track Your Progress by journaling, going on a retreat, checking in with a friend or a coach regularly, establishing and tracking on your own Strategies for Change, or merely giving yourself time to reflect.
- Be Patient with Transition. Resist the urge to go back to what was comfortable or push through this transition too quickly,allow this transition process so you receive the richest blessing available.
- Survive. It may not feel like it, but you will live through this and come out on the other side.
How are you doing with your change? Do you feel you are in the LET BE stage? If you are please share some of your experiences and any additional ways you are helping yourself along this phase of transition.
Over the next few weeks I will blog about my journey through the change of my daughter leaving home for a few months. My intention is to really pay attention to what I am going through and learn from it. Then put this into a 30 Day Plan for others to use as a Framework for their New Change. Your insights on navigating change, your words of advice and wisdom, and your current or past experiences are welcome here. Please share and help me make this a space of learning and exploration.
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