Throughout my change I have noticed times when my tolerance level was much lower than normal. I am typically classified as a “nice” person, which I do not want to change, but some people will try to take advantage of “nice” people. I can typically tolerate a lot, easily find common ground, and I like to understand different perspectives and opinions without necessarily changing mine or anyone else’s.
But during certain phases of change my tolerance level is low; I am less likely to put the energy into finding common ground and instead will quickly determine if I want to engage or set a boundary. Those things and people I make myself tolerate when I am in a “normal” place, I don’t put energy into when I am stressed.
However, being an advocate for extreme self-care, especially during times of stress, I have noticed I naturally turned to my most coveted self-care practices during this change. I have practiced the platforms I preach from and found them to be my saving grace. Not that I navigated this change without fault, but I am in a good place.
Establish your check list of physical activity and self-care practice that keep you healthy and feeling well. Here is my list:
- How many miles have I walked in the last week?
- Have I been cooking healthy meals at home or eating take out?
- What new habits am I developing? Are they supporting me through this change or are they destructive to my body?
- Are there medical, dental, or vision checkups that I need to schedule?
- Am I sleeping contently through the night?
Establish your check list of mental practices that keep you alert and mentally active. Here is my list:
- What has mentally challenged me this week?
- What am I taking in through television, books, music, on-line, etc?
- What am I doing with my down time?
- Who am I interacting with?
- Am I blogging?
Establish your check list of spiritual practices that keep your heart open and a positive mindset? Here is my list:
- Have I practiced my Forgiveness Aspiration this week?
- Have I spent time in meditation or prayer this week?
- What has blessed my heart this week?
- Am I rushing through life or taking life at a manageable pace?
- What am I putting out into the universe this week?
There really are just two questions to ask in any emotional checkup:
- Do I not want to relate to people right now?
- Do I feel like I just need to get away?
What I have found is we can’t directly control the emotional gauge; it is the byproduct of the other three. How well we are doing physically, mentally and spiritually determines how we are doing emotionally. When we run through these questions that ask about specific actions we remove the subjectivity from our personal evaluation. These questions force us to look at the answers with objectivity and show us specifically what we need to do to get back on track.
When I find I want to relate to people I am emotionally in a good place. I want to bring the best of me into my relationships and connect with others. I am more open to random conversations and connection to new and old friends as well as those I am meeting for the first time.
In contrast when I want to draw the drapes, turn on the TV, and not answer the phone the stress of the change is overwhelming me. It is ok to decompress temporarily. Escaping into a movie when you are feeling down is not a bad thing. Just limit the escape by pulling out your 7 strategies project list or this checklist after the movie.
Getting your body and mind into action again will bring you back into a place a productive transition.
Today establish your 4 Check Ins. Where ever you are in the phases of transition, using this checklist when you catch yourself withdrawing, in conflict, or over stressed will help you channel your energy in a more positive and supportive direction.
For another week or so I will blog about my journey through the change of my daughter leaving home for a few months. My intention is to really pay attention to what I am going through and learn from it. Then put this into a 30 Day Plan for others to use as a Framework for their New Change. Your insights on navigating change, your words of advice and wisdom, and your current or past experiences are welcome here. Please share and help me make this a space of learning and exploration.
I consider all who participate in this blog a member of my RD&D Team. If you would like to receive the “beta” version of the product that is generated from this blog series for FREE please participate by leaving your comments and send a blank e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Once the initial product is ready for review I will notify you with instruction on how to receive your FREE copy for review and use.
If you would like support in creating new habits that assist you through transition consider my FREE Program 30-Days to a New Habit. You can receive the 30 daily action plans via daily e-mails when you send a blank e-mail to email@example.com