Although some of the changes of life are not as we prefer we must unconditionally accept and allow change. When we fight change we choose to struggle instead of allow and confusion instead of acceptance.
Things may feel kind of sucky right now. You may want to fight this change. If you want to fight it you probably want to just get rid of the thoughts, mental images, and feelings that seem to haunt you and keep bringing you back to either what was or what you wish things to be.
Trust me I spent a lot of time there. I am actually going through my second break up with “My Dan”.
OK his name is not Dan, my cousins husband is Dan. I’ve always admired their relationship, like his qualities and values, his ability to repair and do all sorts of handyman tasks, and find their resilience and commitment to each other. One day she and I were talking and I said “I need to find MY DAN.” We both thought I had found “My Dan.” So for this series let’s just call my most recent ex “My Dan”.
After the first break up with “My Dan” I was so confused about what had happened, I knew he deeply loved me, I knew I loved him more fully and honestly than I had ever loved a man, we got along great most of the time, we had many common interests and values, I thought we could work thru our problems, yet he wouldn’t speak to me. I did not think our problems warranted such a drastic change in our relationship. I cried every day of the 5 weeks we were apart. I just could not accept that our relationship was over.
Every time I asked God and the Universe to give me a sign as to if I should pursue the relationship or move forward without him I received the message to move forward – wrong answer I decided. Instead I chose to struggle instead of allow. I chose confusion instead of acceptance.
“My Dan” and I finally talked and I found out that why he rejected me had nothing to do with me. It was over a very normal and socially accepted event that he attached other meaning to. He determined my intention and allowed his new story to take on a life of its own. Then he proclaimed it as truth.
I was dumbfounded when he told me, of all the scenarios and over analysis I tried not to do I never came to that event as being the deal breaker for him. But I was still overwhelmingly in love with him so we promised to communicate better and we got back together.
“My Dan” and I were back together for three days until an equally dumbfounding scenario played out again. Again he determined my intention on something we barely talked about, grew it into a moral issue that determined my integrity, and proclaimed it as truth.
There was no talking him off his cliffs; in some strange way he really seemed to enjoy the view from there.
These were not about me. I have found when people proclaim self-created scenarios as truth; it’s more of a reflection into themselves than anyone else. Again our relationship broke apart because of “truths” he proclaimed about my unconfirmed intentions and me not being allowed to communicate with him.
He was returning the gift. He was and still is not ready for me. It is not with ego or arrogance that I say that I was the gift. I know when we were good we were amazing, we were gifts for each other. Unfortunately the amazement was drowning in his “truths”. I could have continued to go thru these unending scenarios and waited for my light to be snuffed out or I could accept that the Higher Powers of the Universe have more importantly given me as a gift to my section of the world (not just to him) and for me to allow someone to snuff out my light is to fail my mission and ignore my purpose.
If God granted us wholeness and health it is because he wants us to be whole and healthy. If God blessed us with talents and skills it is because he wants us to grow and use those talents and skills to bless others. God does not want our lights to be snuffed out by anyone. He wants us to shine brightly.
We have a choice. We can choose to return the gift we are to the world because we think we have a better plan, but then we snuff ourselves out.
Accept that the universe conspires to protect you. The universe wants you to shine brightly and will use all your situations and experiences to bless you and those around you. Let’s allow ourselves to grow through these pains so we can build resilience and be the gifts and blessings for which we were made.